


Afternoon Isn't So Great Either

by Disgruntled_Raptor



Series: Times of Day Are Frustrating [2]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce still is based on the comics, F/M, They are still just friends, This might get weird, This will mostly focus on Darcy and Bruce, growing friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-08
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2018-08-20 06:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8239378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Disgruntled_Raptor/pseuds/Disgruntled_Raptor
Summary: So, Mornings Suck, but I think that is pretty well established now. Darcy and Bruce went through hell together in a morning. Months of being apart and Darcy gets to go to stay with the Avengers with Jane but after a few days they start to act weird, extremely weird, it's creepy. Darcy figures if something is wrong then she needs someone who can stop them, which means the currently missing Bruce Banner. It doesn't take long. Having a traumatic experience on an island made up from pieces of his mind tends to mean she knows how he thinks.Time to save the world, which sounds hard. As far as everyone is concerned, afternoons actually aren't so great either.





	1. The Cold Isn't So Great

**Author's Note:**

> I originally planned to do a Natasha fic next and that is sitting in my Google drive along with a ton of unfinished works. It'll come, I've just been torn on who to have her work with and been leaning towards having her team up with two guys but still not sure who.
> 
> Then while thinking my mind wandered to Mornings Suck. Which went to one simple thought "What if no one knew where Bruce was hiding but Darcy found him in like ten minutes because of their history." It grew from there.
> 
> Let's see how it goes.
> 
> Also in terms of other Avengers, Vision does not work in the story line I have. I don't think I could write Scarlet Witch even for a chapter, but that may change. Sam and Bucky might make an appearance.

Things were weird, well, weirder than normal. Darcy had gone with Jane to visit Thor who was having some sort of celebration with the Avengers. This resulted in them staying there way longer than they intended to. It was pretty neat, being around the Avengers and such. Each day was interesting, this included things like being able to watch Captain America go through how he trains, which she certainly paid attention to, totally did not pay attention to anything else, certainly not his ass or his muscles. Then seeing how much Thor can really eat. It was fun. Then things started to change. Each morning Steve and Tony would have a brief argument, then it just stopped, they didn’t say much of anything to each other in the morning and it wasn’t because they were mad. Then Clint stopped playing video games in his down time. Darcy got completely creeped out when she came across Jane and Thor sitting on the couch and Thor wasn’t eating the massive plate in food in front of him, they were just watching the news. She actually wasn’t sure if anything was wrong with Natasha at first, she hadn’t spent much time around her since she stuck to herself but when she stopped teasing Clint it became obvious.

Darcy felt out of place, everything was just wrong. Her upbeat attitude couldn’t keep her spirits up. One time she walked in on all of them talking in hushed voices. They stopped when she entered and all looked at her, it just wasn’t right. She started to wonder if she somehow walked into some sort of Body Snatchers thing. Either way she had to get out and tell someone. Who do you tell when the Avengers seem to be, well, wrong? That was a hard question to answer. What she did know was after all of this, she is sending Tony Stark her credit card bill.  
This was the series of events that led her to a cabin, an hour outside of a town in Alaska. It was cold, she was unhappy, and her socks were wet, which is the worst feeling there is. Still, she knocked and waited for the door to open. The man who opened it just looked confused.

“How the hell did you find me?” Bruce Banner, who else do you go to when all of the other super powered people you know are being creepy?

“I spent a long time on an island based on your mind, not exactly that hard after that. Now, can I come in? It’s cold.”

Bruce stood there for a moment and closed the door in her face.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” Darcy kicked the door over and over again, “You do not get to lock me out.”

He opened the door laughing a bit, “Sorry, not part of me could resist.”

“I should hit you, maybe Hulk would be nicer.”

“He doesn’t know where to get wood for a fire, unless you want to do that.”

Darcy thought about it, really thought about it, she could tell Hulk to get wood, but knowing her luck he’d come back with a giant tree bigger than the cabin. Yeah, not worth it. “Fine.” She pushed past Bruce inside. It was a cozy place, the type of place people who want to get away from the technological menace that plagued cities. Thus Darcy had a slight bit of hate. Being away from technology for a week wasn’t exactly her definition of a great vacation.

“Go, sit by the fireplace, I’ll get the fire going and get more wood.” Bruce closed the door and moved towards the couch that was placed in front of the fireplace. He didn’t say anything as he started the fire, and left to find more wood. Darcy just sat down in front, peeling off the heavy jacket, that Tony Stark was being charged for again. She got her boots off and got the wet socks off which were quickly placed by the fire. She sat on the couch and curled up, feet under herself in order to try and warm them up.

Bruce returned after a few minutes with more wood. He didn’t bother to say anything as he grabbed a blanket out and tossed it at Darcy.

“Glad to see you haven’t learned any manners since we last met.”

“You’d be confused if I had.”

“True,” Darcy wrapped the blanket around herself.

“So, you wanna explain why you’re here?”

“The Avengers are acting weird.”

“Don’t they always?”

“More weird than usual. Thor’s not eating like Thor.”

“He sometimes gets distracted.” Bruce shrugged and Darcy knew this was going to be annoying.

“Natasha isn’t making fun of Clint.” He had to listen eventually right?

“Well, one can only make so many jokes about Clint in a year.” And now he’s just lying, there’s no limit to jokes. Darcy knows, she heard the story about the time they were up against lava monsters and Hawkeye only had one arrow left.

“Clint isn’t playing video games.”

“He breaks them a lot.” Okay, that was possibly true.

There was only one possible way to get Bruce to believe her, really she should have started with it. “Steve and Tony aren’t fighting.”

Bruce stopped and looked at her. “Wait what?”

“They’re not, they’re getting along perfectly fine. They’re acting weird and so is Jane.”

“Okay, I see what you mean, they’re acting weird.”

“And there’s nowhere else for me to go to get answers. You’re the only one who I thought could not only believe me but maybe fix things?” Well that sounded stupid all things considered, Hulk does break things but Bruce Banner can fix things, right?

Bruce sighed, “I really, really don’t want to.”

“What if they’re being controlled and evil or some alien race swapped bodies with them?”

“Well, that second one is possible.”

Darcy froze, she was kidding and now that was actually possible? “Wait, what?”

“Well, yeah there’s a race that does that.”

“Well, what if it’s that?”

“Call the Fantastic Four?”

“Oh because I just keep every super powered being on speed dial.”

“They’re in the Yellow Pages.”

“That is the oldest thing I have ever heard you say.”

“Then I am clearly not trying hard enough with my old references.” Bruce smirked slightly and Darcy actually felt a small smile cross her face. As much of a jerk as he was, it was nice to be back around him. She must have really gone insane on the way over to think that.

“Maybe so, but, there’s still the entire, Avengers aren’t acting right.”

Bruce let out a huff, “Yeah, that… Well.” He hummed slightly. “You should get some sleep. The bedroom is just through that door. I’ll sleep out here and you can curl up in there.”

“You just saying that so you can run off?”

“Someone’s paranoid.”

“Again, Avengers being creepy, you are honestly the last chance I have at not only figuring out what’s going on with them but also with my friend.”

“Good point. I’m not running off anywhere. As much as I don’t want to help or go back, I also know the dangers of what could happen if there is something going on.”

“So, you’ll help, right?”

“I’ll go with you to check it out, I won’t get close, won’t let them know I’m there unless there really is something wrong.”

Darcy nodded, “Good enough for me.”

“Go get warmed up.”

“Next time you run off, choose somewhere with a better climate. No deserts and no deep snow.” Darcy got up to head towards the bedroom, now able to feel her feet again.

“I make no promises.”

“I know you don’t. It’s good to see you again Doc.”

“It’s good to see you not in a hospital bed, Darcy.”


	2. Hidden Labs are Not So Great

The morning was uneventful by the time Darcy woke up, well, uneventful for the situation. She mainly learned that Bruce will hog the washroom just to annoy her and use all of the hot water if she calls him out on it, lesson learned. She could not wait to get back to the city where the hot water didn’t run out so quickly. It was breakfast when things got interesting. Despite their fight over the washroom, Darcy learned something important at breakfast, Bruce can cook. Not just a little bit either, he actually knew how to cook and do it well. He refused to burn anything even to annoy Darcy and it was certainly a welcome break from those tiny cereal boxes and snack bars she had to put up with on her way here, plus air port food. She could have cried at the taste of real food.

It was after when they were preparing to go that things got interesting again.

“Alright, so the closest airport is only a few hours away-“

“I can’t fly,” Bruce stated, “We’re driving.”

“Wait, what? Are you nuts? Driving from here to New York? You realize how long that will take?”

“Yep, it’s about, 4,336 miles. So, assuming we don’t have problems crossing or leaving Canada, and if we drive non stop it would take 71 hours. But we’d need to stop we can’t take shifts for that long and be alright by the time we get there, we need food, we need to stretch our legs, get gas, need to sleep, plus you know any accidents would put us behind a few hours. So we’re looking at near a week, little bit less.” Bruce just kept packing.

“Or you know, we can get on a flight and it’ll take 7 hours? I like that plan.”

“Oh, really? This time of year no direct flights would exist, meaning it would be longer than 7 hours, so, yes still shorter than driving but, the security level is a tad higher. Tell me, do you know what happens when someone who is radioactive goes through security at the air port? The answer is nothing good. Do you know what happens when they look into us? They find the no fly list. Now, given I spend most of my life running from the military, what do you think happens when they decide to figure out who this guy letting off gamma radiation is?"

“…Right, so, driving.”

“It’ll take a long time, in that time bad things might happen, but, we’ll honestly get there faster than if we get detained at the air port.”

“Why can’t we Hulk travel?”

“Because we need to pick a few things up, plus Hulk lets off a massive amount of gamma radiation. If whatever did this thing to the Avengers is looking for you or me, it right now has Stark who would scan for that sort of explosion of energy constantly.”

“Right, so, no Hulk. Why wouldn’t he have found you right now?”

“Because there are others who let off gamma radiation in greater amounts than I do, it would take a lot longer to lock onto my specific signal, I doubt Tony is thinking straight enough to try and he would take years to figure it out without me being there. The different levels are impossible to measure unless you have a sample size and signature to lock onto.”

“Hopefully he doesn’t get lucky then.”

“He’d also have to investigate. He’ll start by looking in the exact opposite side of the world. We drive through Canada; he won’t expect me to be there until we’re close enough to actually do something.”

“Unless he gets lucky.”

“When does Tony ever get lucky?”

“Depends how much you buy into the playboy persona.” That was bad and Darcy knew it.

“That doesn’t count. When you can use your name as a pick up line it’s no longer getting lucky.”

“Did he leave you hanging one night?”

“Worse, he didn’t. I do not like parties, and there was no escape for a solid hour and a half before the others decided to rescue me. Not a fan of crowds, no interest in seeing how Hulk does with sex.”

Darcy shuddered at that thought, “Yeah, that sounds like an unpleasant risk.”

“Exactly.” Bruce moved over to a bookshelf and shoved it over to reveal a door.

“Hidden doors, really?”

“You didn’t think I lived out here without a hidden lab, do you?”

“And yet you can’t get hot water that lasts for more than half an hour.”

“At least I purified the lake water for that and for drinking.”

“That’s great for anyone who isn’t a super genius who has been living out here for god knows how long.”

“Parts are hard to come by and really, I didn’t need more than that, not until you showed up.”

“Rude, never ready for company,” Darcy teased as Bruce entered a code in a pin pad to open the hidden door.

“Hey, I was ready for company, not just you, could have had someone join me in there but again not you.” Bruce pulled the heavy door open and started down the steps into the basement lab.

Bruce Banner, mad scientist with a basement lab, no part of Darcy was surprised. It was a disorganized mess. She didn’t really pay much attention as Bruce shoved smaller object into a bag and moved around the room, she was more concerned about how many things looked like they would explode including a generator in the corner. “Is this place safe?”

“Everything in here is a risk, but so is science.”

“And back to being a pure nerd,” Darcy sighed.

“Never stopped being a nerd.” He pulled the bag over his shoulder. “Ready for a road trip?”

“With you? This is going to be… Unique.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to jump right into the road trip part, but I decided exposition first.
> 
> In other news I took a side blog I had sitting around that I have literally posted nothing on, never really set up, was going to set it up as a joke RP thing but ended up not doing it. I kept the name though and left it just off as a side blog uncertain what to do with it. I've decided to keep it as another point to contact me off site. The tumblr name is slightlydisgruntledraptor I'll turn on asks, might start reblogging stuff on it, but if anyone for some reason feels more comfortable saying something on tumblr, it's there. As of posting this, there are literally not posts on the account and the theme needs to be added on. Still, it's there.
> 
> Thank you on the Kudos and comments so far. Next chapter we'll do the road trip, which I believe will be long or I'll break it up into two parts, but after it'll dive into the plot itself and what's going on.


	3. Road Trips Are Not So Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce and Darcy are complete nerds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly a filler, a long filler, but it does show where their friendship is at.
> 
> Happy Thanksgiving to all of the Americans.

It turned out when Bruce meant road trip, he meant trying to get comfortable in an old truck. Darcy was guessing it was white, but honestly she couldn’t tell, rust had started to form along the edges of the doors, and it seemed like Bruce was against washing it. It had been stored in a shed next to the logs and honestly after initially seeing it, Darcy was just happy it started up. Not because she didn’t think Bruce could fix it, more what he would do to it as he fixed it. He very well could turn a truck into a nuclear reactor.

“You have a passport, right?” tossed his bag into the truck.

“Yes, I have a passport.” She did need it to get here.

“Good,” Bruce climbed into the driver’s seat.

“Do you have a passport?”

“Sort of.”

“That is the single most concerning answer to that question I can think of.”

“It’s fake. They run my actual name and I’m screwed.”

“And that makes it worse.”

“What were you expecting?”

“Hulk travel?” It seemed logical to get somewhere fast.

“They’ll see me coming. Honestly while you were passed out I tampered with your phone so they couldn’t track you.”

“You did what to my phone?”

Bruce just smirked as Darcy dug her phone out to look at what had been done. When did he have time to screw with it? She was suddenly very nervous about sleeping around Bruce if he could steal phones so easily. She would have to sleep with it strapped to her hand.

“Don’t worry it still works, for the most part. The GPS doesn’t, but obvious reason there.”

“Jerk.”

“You missed me,” Bruce simply started driving down the dirt paths away from the cabin.

Fact was she did miss him, on some level. Even though they constantly tossed insults towards each other, she felt close to Bruce, like an old friend who has seen you through the worst part of your life. To be honest, being chased by a T-Rex was very likely one of the worst parts of her life. She understood Bruce in many different ways after seeing his memories act out and become twisted, his fears show themselves in terrifying ways. Being teased and having her phone tampered was just part of being around him and it was a familiarity she missed ever since this entire issue started. Bruce was still Bruce, that worked just fine for her.

“We’ll cross the border and borrow a car that can get us the rest of the way.” Bruce stated, which was for the best as the truck blew cold air at Darcy, which given they were in Alaska, probably not useful, more so when there was snow on the ground. She huddled into her seat to just put up with the cold. It also made unhappy sounds that made Darcy believe the truck was falling apart.

“Where are we getting the car from?” Darcy questioned. Rental agencies might have questions, unless they threw money at them. Even then wouldn't used cars be better?

“An old friend of mine. He also has some useful tools that may be handy, depending what we’re up against.”

“You have a friend that lives in Canada? ...Bruce, tell me, do you have a Canadian girlfriend? Because if so we need to talk about the internet and how sometimes people aren't always honest about who they are.”

“What? No. Walter is a friend from my days of university, he’s a football player.”

“Okay, Canadian boyfriend then, still might not be honest with you online.”

“You know the doors on this truck don’t latch properly, I could easily push you out.”

“That’s what seatbelts are for.” Darcy grinned and was pleased to get a slight smirk from Bruce. They had beaten Nightmare, it seemed like that was so long again, but it was nice to be teasing him again. It was nice to have him around when things were falling apart. They’d fix this somehow.

“You know, this will be a dull ride if we don’t find something to talk about.”

“What do you want to talk about?”

“Not science.” Sure she could keep up for the most part, but Bruce would either pull them over to do an experiment that likely would blow up or would be a boring monotone professor.

Bruce laughed a bit, “What then?”

“What stuff do you watch on TV?”

Bruce gave half a shrug. “Recently not much. Sure, I watch the occasional documentary, sometimes to laugh, other times to just see what they cover but I often get bored. I watch the news.”

“Because that's a great way to keep your anger down.”

“I might as well keep somewhat up with potential threats. More importantly it gives me a lot of useful info. I can tell what sort of trouble the others get into by watching the news. If I need to get involved and if they’re alright. Sure, not everything is true, they seem to care more about costs than what actually goes on, but I can see my friends are alive, that they’re alright. I worry when there’s nothing.”

“You know you could have gotten the same information by going back and asking.” She wasn’t bitter that he left.

“In some ways, yes. But, then I’d be causing more trouble for them. They say it’s alright, but I prefer to avoid those problems.” He briefly looked at her, “But, I’ll pull their asses out of the fire.”

“Always good to know. What else do you watch?”

“Well, terrible movies from the 80s.”

“Okay, anything we can talk about?”

“Unlikely. Hulk watches more TV than I do.”

Darcy raised an eyebrow. “What does he watch?”

“Animated stuff mostly. He liked Digimon for a long time when I was first on the run.”

Darcy just looked confused. “Digimon? Really? Not Pokémon?”

“He watched both. But Digimon, you know, nonthreatening monsters turning into big strong ones that could be destructive and saving the day only to turn back to the small ones? Sound familiar?”

“Of course he relates to the Digimon.” It made weird sense she supposed. She didn’t watch much of the show though. “He did watch Pokemon though, right?”

“Yes,” Bruce nodded, “and yes, I watched a bit too. Nothing else to do.”

“So, what’s your team?”

“My what?”

“Your Pokémon team?”

“I don’t have one.”

“You disappoint me Doc.”

“I only played one or two games, and only watched a few episodes.”

“Oh, so now you played the games? Stop back peddling Doc.”

“I did. I do play video games despite popular opinion. Both when I was younger and the 3DS was an impressive piece of technology.”

“So, what’s your team then? If Pokémon were real.”

“Well, I played Red originally, and I chose Charmander because dragon, how do you not choose dragon?”

“Simple, Squirtles are great and cute.”

“Again, dragon.”

“So, Charmander and what else?”

“Honestly given how the numbers grew? If Pokémon were real I don't think Charmander would be on my team. Not because he isn’t great, but I’d need to be in the right place at the right time. Plus, I bet laws would be different.”

“Stop with the logic and give me your team. Or are you afraid to say so because it’s a team of Jigglypuffs to sing Hulk to sleep?”

Bruce laughed, “No, not that. I’m sure there are those who think that. The fact is, there was a time before Hulk. I have to assume that I would have some from before Hulk, otherwise I’d have none.”

Darcy shook her head, “You’re avoid the question.”

“Discussing it.” Bruce smirked, “Alright. Well, let’s see. I suppose my first Pokémon would be given to me by my aunt. She’d want me to have a friend. I doubt she’d give me a fire lizard. So, what was the little blue water crocodile?”

“Totodile?”

“Yes, him. Of course that would be before university, do by now, he would have evolved. Probably went from energetic and happy to lazy and knowing my luck became that giant crocodile that would decide to try and help me with relationships by pushing me into people in order to start conversations.”

“Heh, probably. I’d either get a Cyndaquil or a Squirtle, maybe a Turtwig. I don’t know. Next?”

“Probably I would inherit my Mom’s Pokémon when I turned 18. I don’t remember much about her, but, she liked horses. I think she would have had a Rapidash.” Bruce had a soft smile.

“Now you're making me sad.” 

“What about you?”

“Shinx, probably evolve him or her fully. Your next?”

“A Pidgeot. Start out as a Pidgey that was injured when I did pre-med. Probably never left knowing my luck and thus evolved. You?”

“Houndour, I need at least one dog on my team. Most loving houndour ever who would probably love everyone.”

“Of course. Um, I suppose I wouldn't get another until the military base. I think probably a cubone, I always felt close to them.”

“Somehow I could see a cubone trying to help you in your labs, only to throw something at your head when you ignore it.”

“Sounds about right. Your turn.”

“I’d hope for a Riolu. I suppose we need to pick a Eevee.” 

“I’d probably go electric, Hulk probably would find the Eevee, and I’d need an electric type to help me.”

“A Jolteon, huh? I’d go with an Espeon. Stones are too expensive or hard to find, but I would certainly befriend my Eevee.”

“So, guess one more. Hmm. Probably something from Betty… I would have said no, probably even gave her the Pokémon to begin with, but she's insist. Probably a Growlithe or a Vulpix. Ross probably would have made her evolve it though because he likes strength.”

“I want to see an Arcanine play with Hulk now.”

“Last one, what do you got?”

Darcy hummed. “Dragonite. Because dragons are awesome.”

“See? Told you they’re awesome. Charmander is the best because of that.”

“But turtles are cool too.”

“And yet you call me a nerd.” Bruce chuckled.

“Only because you are. You’re a Ravenclaw,” Bringing up Harry Potter was asking for trouble with Bruce, and she knew it.

“Actually it’s more likely I’m a Hufflepuff.”

“But you’re super smart.”

“I am now, and yes, I was a smart child. But I was different as a kid. I thought being smart was the worst thing I could be, it got my mother killed. The sorting hat is many things, but it’s never clear on if it can see the future, and it can make mistakes, despite what it claims. The one thing I needed as a kid was comfort, the one thing I was beyond all else was loyal. If I was a Ravenclaw, there’s backstabbing going on in that house to be the smartest. I would have ended up turning against everyone. But playing on my loyalty, my desire for comfort, safety, the fact I didn’t want to be smart at that age, well, it means I would do better as a very smart Hufflepuff. Sure, I’d grow out of hiding my intellect but that was only because I had my aunt and cousin out here. Plus, you know, they set a trap for their door. Screw passwords and riddles, they had a trap, that is awesome. As an adult I’m a Ravenclaw, as a child I’m a Hufflepuff, both are aspects of who I am, I am still loyal and traps are still great. Thus would have been in between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff during sorting, I would have chosen Hufflepuff.”

“Not sure if I’m impressed with your Hufflepuff knowledge or impressed that you didn’t insult Harry Potter.” Darcy was wary, waiting for the moment it would all come crashing down.

“Hey, just because there are plot holes doesn’t mean it’s not a fun story. Plus I like having all the pieces of the puzzle,” Bruce shrugged.

“Hmm,” Darcy thought for a moment, “I’m a puff too. Badgers are better than Ravens.”

“Very true.”


	4. Doppelganger Questions Are Not So Great

Darcy was afraid to admit she knew a little too much about secondary when it came to crossing borders. She also knew a little too much about doing it with a scientist. Yep, that was a thing. Getting sent to secondary on a land border with no passport and the Hulk? That was new. Bruce was oddly calm about it. They parked and went inside, Bruce spoke to the officer for a while before another approached and took them to the backroom. Bruce sat at a computer and typed away. Darcy was wondering how a call from the Canadian border would sound to everyone once they were arrested.

Half an hour passed and by some miracle they were released and sent off.

“Okay…. What the hell?”

“I go through here a lot. Let’s just say their supervisors need some technical help with a few things. Perfectly nice people of course, nothing illegal. Just an arrangement.”

“No, there’s no way.”

“I also rescued some kids once here.”

“That makes more sense.”

“Apparently they like heroes here. Having Sasquatch as a hero helps with the monster thing.”

“Sasquatch is a superhero… makes sense.”

“You’ll meet him.”

“Meet… Sasquatch. Bruce did you go nuts?”

“You’ll understand when we get there.”

Sometimes it was better not to ask. More so when it came to Bruce.

Darcy had zoned out for several hours. Her legs were cramping, she was hungry and she sort of needed to pee but could hold it to avoid the seedy looking truck stops. She came to when Bruce stopped the car in front of a rather large home that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere. “Sasquatch lives out here?” She was joking.

“Yes, actually. When he’s not off with Alpha Force,” Bruce got out and started towards the door.

“Alpha Force?”

“Canadian Avengers.” Bruce knocked on the front door.

“Canadian… you’re messing with me-” Darcy had gotten out of the vehicle only to see the front door open and a large orange furred creature at it. “...Bruce.”

“Darcy, meet Walter Langkowski, also known as Sasquatch.” Bruce grinned at her, enjoying the sheer confusion on her face.

“Hello, Dr. Banner, and hello Darcy.”

Langkowski, that name sounded familiar.

“Why don’t you two come on inside and tell me what’s going on?” Walter went back inside followed by Bruce. Darcy had to run to catch up. Inside things started to click into place, football jerseys on the wall with Langkowski written in bold white letters. “You played football?”

“Yes, before I was covered in fur, I was a football player. Went to university on a scholarship, I was a science major but also not a bad player, enough that I ended up signed to a team which would lead to funding my experiments once I eventually retired from it.”

“Walter and I went to university together,” Bruce added, “First time a football player was my friend instead of the guy punching me. When Hulk came about I came to Canada briefly to escape, ran into Walter. Turned out he was trying to figure out a way to help me.”

“Of course instead of pulling that off, I accidentally ripped a hole in reality, to a realm of Great Beasts. The creature in my body is known as Tanaraq.”

“Ask him about the time he was a woman.”

“Please don’t,” Walter sighed. “I assume you both came here for a reason?”

“I assume there’s a reason you’re orange and hairy right now.” Bruce raised an eyebrow.

“Work stuff. Now, why are you here Banner?”

“She came to get me from my hiding hole" Bruce pointed at Darcy, “Says the Avengers are acting weird. I need to borrow your lab and a car… probably be nice to rest too.”

Walter looked at Darcy who was looking around trying not to get in the way. “Strange?”

“It’s weird, they’re off. Think invasion of the body snatchers.”

“Skrulls?” Walter was looking back at Bruce.

“Maybe. Impossible to tell. But if they notice Darcy is gone and piece together where she went, I need the ability to hide from Stark Tech. Hence lab.”

“Wait, there are seriously body snatching aliens?” Darcy was now even more weirded out.

Walter pointed Bruce to a door, and Bruce was gone without a word. Walter at least wasn’t rude and responded, “Skrulls, they’re at war with the Kree. The Earth sometimes gets caught up in their war. Skrulls are free skinned nasty creatures. They kidnap and replace people, keeping their targets alive but imprisoned so they can keep a mental connection to their memories. They can also simulate powers, some can even mimic multiple powers at once.”

“That’s horrifying.” She could be talking to a Skrull at any point in her life then and not know.

“It is. If it is them though, I’m sure Bruce will handle it. For now, best let him work. You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen, explore the house, get comfortable. Enjoy yourself while you can.”

“Hey… Walter, how do I know you’re not a Skrull?”

“Honestly, you don’t, but Bruce trusts me, and he knows doppelganger questions.”

“That sounds extremely nerdy.”

“It means to have a sentence or question that means something emotionally between you and another person. A doppelganger can mimic obvious things, they can mimic popular culture and emotion. But if you have a question specific to a relationship, they can’t process the emotional connection fast enough.”

“And you and Bruce have one?”

“Yes, we do. And I assume Bruce already ruled out the possibility of you being someone you’re not.”

“I guess?”

“He wouldn’t have brought you here if he hadn’t.”

“Are there other things that could cause this? Other than Skrulls.”

“Hundreds, Skrulls are a go to guess. Mind control, memory manipulation, robots, those are all possibilities too. Pinpointing the answer without being there is next to impossible.”

Darcy nodded though silently wondered if there was anything that could serve as a doppelganger question for her and Jane, let alone Bruce. How did Bruce know she was safe to bring here?

She remembered him slamming the door in her face. The way she reacted, the way he laughed after. He couldn't resist. Bruce was always checking for danger. Some called it paranoia, but it isn’t paranoia if there really is someone out to get you. That was a harsh reality to live in.


	5. Breakfast Crashers Are Not So Great

Darcy had fallen asleep on the couch watching random movies to keep her mind off their situation. It was the early hours of the morning when she woke to the smell of pancakes and bacon. It took her a few moments to realize where she was. Canada, no idea where in Canada but still the house of Sasquatch. She pulled herself up and stretched before heading to the kitchen. She was not met by Bruce or an orange furred creature, rather a muscular man in a tight shirt wearing glasses with short blond hair. At first she was confused but things clicked into place. “Walter?”

“In the flesh without the orange. Kind of hard to cook when there’s fur everywhere. Please, help yourself.” He nodded to the table where the food that he had finished sat.

Her stomach in a moment realized how long it had been since she had a real meal and growled loudly. Her mind had other ideas. “Coffee?”

“Kurig over there, mugs are in the cupboard above.”

Darcy gladly went to search through the limited options there but still a decent variety for a man who seemed to live alone. “What about Bruce?”

“He’s getting a few hours of rest, as hard to believe as that is.” Walter played the next stack of pancakes, turning off his stove and bringing it over to the table.

“No kidding, was he like this before?”

“Ever since the first day I met him. Can’t really blame him. He’s always been afraid to be alone with his mind going on an uncontrollable rampage through his memories and thoughts.”

That oddly made a lot of sense. Darcy took her mug of coffee and joined Walter, inhaling deeply the glorious smell of coffee and food. She’d like to just stop and live in that moment, where her stomach rejoices at the idea of food soon to come and her brain soaks in the enticing smell of coffee. Of course just as she reached for a slice of bacon with one hand, other hand bringing the mug up for that glorious first taste- The roof caved in.

Well.

Isn’t that just fantastic.

Darcy was thrown back from the table to the nearby wall, Walter was thrown in the opposite direction. The table, and the food were destroyed, there was dust a debris everywhere. Darcy stared up at what caused the destruction. There were tinges of green along its muscular body, the creature rivaled Hulk in size. Though where Hulk was undeniably human like, this creature was more of a bird. The head was like a hawk, the arms were like a horrible mess of wing and arm. She didn’t think it could fly though, there was no way for it to support itself. Feathers sprouted in multiple directions.

When Darcy was young there was a game a friend of hers owned called Impossible Creatures. You mixed animals to create an army. This thing made her think of that game only if Hulk was an option to mix with a bird.

The creature gave a mix between a screech and a roar, rounding on Darcy. It picked up a piece of the table as a weapon, as if it needed one. This was not good.

“Bruce!” Darcy shouted hoping he was coming. What she didn’t consider was the orange furry creature grabbing the bird-thing from behind and pulling it to the ground.

“Run! Find Bruce!” Sasquatch shouted, “I’ll hold it off.”

Darcy did not need to be told twice. Experience taught her when dealing with something Hulk sized, you want a Hulk. She ran as quick as she could for the basement. Bruce was dazed, looking as if he just woke up at a bad time, which really he did. “Hulk bird thing,” Darcy knew exactly how that sounded but how else do you define it?

“Huh, that’s new,” Bruce yawned.

“Maybe Hulk time?” She was worried greatly about the crashing sounds from the floor above them.

“Walter up there?” Bruce walked around the lab.

“Yes?” She was about ready to slap him awake so he could green it up.

“Then no rush, more time to think and understand.” Bruce started turning on a device.

“But he needs help! Your friend needs help!” 

“It doesn't do anyone much good if I just punch out the problem only for it to come back later. Better to know what we’re dealing with and-” he stopped as he stated at a screen that was hooked up to the machine.

“Mind filling me in or punching that thing or something?”

“It’s… it’s gamma powered, it really is another Hulk. It’s not just a weird knock-off. Someone made another Hulk.”


	6. Feathers Are Not So Great

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce, Walter and Darcy fight off the breakfast crasher.

“Great are you gonna punch it now?” As worrying as what Bruce said, it didn’t change the fact that bird-Hulk was angry and trashing everything.

Bruce gave a questioning ‘hmm?’ as if he forgot momentarily that Darcy was there or where he was. “Oh, yes, soon. But I need to make sure this thing can’t draw the fight out for days. That wouldn't end well for anyone.”

He had a point but why was he being so casual about this? His friend was fighting a bird-Hulk. Surely that situation would lead to a little bit of concern. “Alright, agreed but seriously Walter is up there.”

“If it was anyone but Walter I would be up there. The fact is Walter can hold his own, if I want to help I need to stop it.”

“Wouldn't that take days to plan and build? We don't have that time.” Even if Walter could hold his own against a Hulk, how long before the house collapsed?

“If it did, the answer would be that we need to make that time. Thing is, it doesn't. You don't honestly believe I’ve spent this long with Hulk that I don't know how to stop one, do you? I am one of the smartest men on this planet. Hulk might always come back but I do know how to stop him. I know how to deal with gamma radiation.” Bruce got up, gathering supplies from around the lab. “You know, people don’t get it…” Oh great this was not a time for one of his talks, as much as Darcy enjoyed them there was a fight to worry about. She nearly spoke but it was clear Bruce was working as he spoke, he didn't pause his movements as he continued. “They really don't. I try to explain, Hulk is a curse, it is absolutely hell. Each change is met by horrible pain, you spend time not existing. The worst part is I could fix myself. A therapist I once had said I was addicted to power, on some level I was. But, the world needs Hulk, they need him to exist. Ever since he came there was no going back, there’s just some things you need a Hulk for. He’s part of me, I can’t just erase him, I could but he comes back because he has to. But it means I can stop this, whoever is in that creature needs out. Before it’s too late. Before they go too far.” Bruce kept working on a box with a few wires that had ends resembling electrodes. “Hopefully the levels don't spike otherwise this will not end well.”

“You know I hate it when you say something like that.”

“I know, you’ll hate this more. You need to get this thing on that creature. Kind of fragile, can’t trust Hulk hands, get it on, press the green button, assuming no gamma spikes Hulk creature should be stopped.” He made it sound so easy, and yet every single word he said was terrifying and insane. Granted, that seems to be a general then with Bruce. He pushed the strange box and wires into Darcy’s hands.

“I hate you sometimes.” Well, hate might be a strong word. Then again… he was sometimes a jerk.

“I know, let’s go stop a bird.”

“I hate when you say stuff like that so casually like we’re just going to walk a dog. Only walking a dog is a fun and enjoyable experience because there is a dog. This is nothing like walking a dog, this is fighting a terrifying Hulk thing!”

“Can’t hear you going to save the day!” Bruce was heading up the stairs. Yep, sometimes a jerk. But, at the same time it frustrated Darcy and pushed away the fear. The fact he could still tell a joke when facing down danger, it made the danger feel smaller, made her feel safer. It was like telling a joke while watching a horror movie, it just helped. Maybe on some level Bruce knew that, or maybe he was a dick, possibly both. Either way she followed him upstairs.

Walter was on the ground, the bird hulk on top of him. Walter was trying to keep the creature’s face away, his knee pushed again the chest of the creature to try and provide some distance, his hands trying to force the creature’s own sharp claws away. Walter look tired, injured, but the creature had also obviously taken a few hits. 

Bruce stood watching for a moment, muttering to himself, “What have they done to you?”

Darcy looked at him in confusion, there was recognition in the way Bruce looked at the creature, he knew more than he had shared, or maybe figured something out. Darcy looked at the creature again.

“This isn't right,” Bruce muttered, “I’m sorry, I’ll fix it… I’ll fix it.” He took in a deep breath before walking a few steps closer, putting distance between himself and Darcy before he whistled. “Hey there featherbrain, you looking for me?” He got the creature’s attention as it screeched loudly at him and pulled away from Walter. “Thought so. Well, let’s see what you got.” Bruce started to change, tinges of green following his muscles, eyes glowing. “Come on! Let’s see what your monster is really like!” The creature charged and in that moment Bruce was gone, leaving Hulk to catch the creature and slow it.

The two were near in size without a doubt, the creature was near Hulk in height but thinner than he was, likely meant to be more agile than a brick wall of green muscle. It might have had the advantage if it relied more on quick attacks and dodging, but a straight charge had put it at a disadvantage. Hulk picked that creature up and slammed it on the ground as it screeched in confusion and anger. “Hulk smash!” Hulk raised his fists ready to bring them down but the creature lashed out knocking Hulk off his feet with a quick blow to his legs.

It got up, ready to launch when Walter grabbed it by the shoulder and punched, buying Hull enough time to get up. The two could tag team the creature that kept switching to whoever hit it last. The confusion of changing targets seemed to do that trick in wearing it down until each could take an arm and lift it off the ground. The creature kicked its legs in anger trying to get free. “Now!” Hulk shouted above it.

Darcy ran behind the creature with the device in hand. She figured if it was going to kick then at least it couldn't see her from behind. She tried to forget about her own safety as she got close, honestly staying closer to Hulk hoping his legs could shield her from stray kicks. She reached over to put the device on the creature, attaching the wires to wherever she could reach since Bruce gave no instructions before hitting the button. The creature screeched once more and broke free. It started to thrash about, trying to grab the device as it hummed to life. It kicked up debris and dust as it cried out, enough that both Walter and Hulk huddled around Darcy, Hulk growling lightly as Walter glared, both ready to protect her. The device got louder and louder as it worked, drowning out the screams of the creature.

It went from deafening to silence with a green flash that faded as quickly as it came. Darcy had turned her face away but now as she looked back the dust was settling, the creature was gone. What was left caused her to utter two words.

“Holy shit.”


	7. Stubbornness Isn't So Great

There had been a lot of strange sights in Darcy’s life. Meeting Thor was strange, after all she tasered him and then found out he was basically a god. Then Loki attacked New York, she wasn't there for that but it was weird. Let’s not forget that time she was picked up by Nightmare and had to deal with Bruce, who wasn’t exactly fun to deal with. Then everyone acted weird, oh and don’t forget that she met Sasquatch after having to find Bruce in Alaska of all places. Then there was the Hulk bird thing. But this? This was not what she was expecting.

“Holy shit.” Darcy could not believe what she saw, and again she's seen a T-Rex and run from it before. The device laid a few feet away, smoking with something coming out of it but more importantly where the creature once stood was a man collapsed on the ground, tattered clothes barely able to cling to his body, he was face down and unconscious. It shouldn't have surprised her that much, after all it had been a Hulk and in theory there had to be a normal human on the inside. Of course, seeing the normal person left behind after a fight and knowing who they are really should be different reactions. Darcy stared in silence between Hulk and Sasquatch at the figure, “Is that… is that who I think it is?”

“Puny Hawk,” The rumble came from Hulk.

Hawkeye, aka Clint Barton, Darcy had only met him a few times but enough to recognize him. “What? Why?”

“I think those questions can be dealt with later, for now we should focus on what to do with him and that,” Walter nodded towards the device as he finished speaking. “Hulk, I appreciate your help,” Hulk looked at him, waiting for him to finish, “but right now we do need your other half to help your friend. I hope you understand.”

Hulk grunted unhappily but nodded. Within a few seconds Bruce was back, taking a few moments to steady himself send get his mind right.

“Careful Doc, don't collapse on us.” Darcy had watched as Bruce righted himself. Despite how quick the fight seemed to go it had taken a lot out of Bruce. 

“I’m fine,” Bruce uttered out, “Someone tie Barton up before he comes to, we just need to make sure he’s not still… you know.” He couldn't find the words, not after that. Instead he stopped up the device and pulled out a small glowing container. “That’s potent.” 

“What exactly is it? In fact what is all this?” Darcy gestured wildly to Clint and the device. Walter left to find something to tie Clint up with.

“Whoever is doing this knows how to make a Hulk. We just saw Barton’s inner monster. Everyone has one after all. But if they did that to him…”

“Then they have more,” Walter finished as he returned and started to tie Clint up. “Bruce…”

“I know, you have to tell Alpha Flight, get them and any contacts you have on alert but make sure they know not to engage. Whoever did this took down the Avengers, going to them is the worst idea any team could do.”

“Which is why you’re going.” All of this sounded like the worst idea.

“I don't have a choice.” Bruce looked at Darcy. “You should stay with Walter, he can keep you safe.”

“Are you kidding me?” She should agree, say yes, not run headfirst towards more of those. “You need me. My friends need me, I’m not sitting on the sidelines! You couldn't have used the device if I wasn’t here!”

“You will end up dead if you come with me.”

“That’s my choice. I came and got you, I knew the risks. Someone has to go with you.”

“You’re only human!”

“Of course I am! But I survived Nightmare with you, you would have been lost without me! Someone has to tell you when you’re being an idiot. Someone has to pull you back from the edge. I mean, he’s not gonna do it.” She pointed to Clint. “So, you’re not ditching me.”

“You’re impossible!” Bruce shook his head.

“And you’re being an idiot. They’re my friends, I’m helping. Even if you leave me here I’ll find my own way there. I can't sit on the sidelines… after seeing that, I’m afraid of what the others will do… I have to.”

Bruce kept shaking his head, “Still impossible…”

“You were only human when you ran out to save Rick. You were only human when you laid everything on the line for a stranger. Why can't I for people I know and care about? I’d rather go with you than alone but… you know what it’s like to be stuck watching when bad things happen.”

Bruce was silent for a long period of time. “Sometimes I hate you… Walter we need to get going and fast.”

“Take the car, I’ll get the stray bird into the backseat.” Walter picked Clint up and carried him outside.

Bruce turned the container over in his hand. “You’re driving, and do not pick a station of only pop music to listen to.”

“Driver’s choice, deal with it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, a new member joins the road trip. I don't know when the next chapter will come. I know where the story is going, I know the big bad guy, that's coming but it's getting there that's the tricky part.


End file.
